Her name is a chant in my head, repeated on an endless cycle from morning to night, haunting my dreams, possessing me. A thousand notes fill me, reminders of her smile, scent, laughter. Close up snapshots of the light reflecting off her warm green, brown eyes, the way her purple hair tumbles into her face as she leans in close to kiss my lips, the delicate underside of her arm as she arranges her masses into a messy coif. She eclipse all thoughts. A moon goddess enchanting my spirit.
I find myself in acts of worship, feasting on her image, gaining strength from her touch, her name falling from my lips like prayer.
A love returned to me that I thought only belonged to one person.
With this heavy spell I am quaking with fear at her feet. I want so badly to believe that this feeling doesn’t end in a fall off a cliff, that time won’t rob her of her love and leave me once again the only constant. I have only truly loved twice in my life and both encounters have left me less whole than before. What part of myself will I lose this time if she chooses to love me no longer? The more filled I feel by her the more I fear the power she wields. And yet, I cannot help but love her.
I jump knowing there may be disaster at the end of this glorious fall but no amount of jagged rocks stop the bunching of my muscles as I leap to meet her.
Nena
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