I tried last night. I tried my best to confront the issue in a non threatening manner, if not in a friendly manner. I didn't yell, I didn't roll my eyes, I didn't stamp my foot. I calmly asked if she did think it should have been my choice to tell my grandma about who I am. Her response? "She already knew anyway Nena, its better to just clear the water then lie about what who my daughter is. She knew. You practically told her and she was guessing anyway" there was no "Im sorry next time I will respect your wishes" or "You know I didn't think, Im sorry my actions ended up hurting". There was no apology.
And she wonders why I have I hard time being around her.
I could have approached the subject with my grandma even if she hadn't gotten the confidence to ask me. Its not that the "water was cleared" with her its the fact that the choice to tell her was taken from me. And she sees nothing wrong with it. Nothing wrong with stripping my of my choice to come out to my grandma formally or not.
I can't express how trying to convey my feelings and getting deflected in a confrontational manner pissed me off.
I am trying my damnedest to repair whatever it is that L.M and I have of we do indeed have anything but how can I when shit like this keeps happening?
How can I hear her out and try to understand if she doesn't even listen to me when I clearly express what is bothering me instead of "bottling it in".
I am beginning to come to a hard found conclusion that this "relationship" isn't going to work.
Nena
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