How do I begin? Do I start with once upon a time in a land far across the sea or do I just go right into it, no eloquence and stay close to the the cutting edge of reality?
It has been fifteen days since I have graduated and I feel nothing. No overpowering sense of freedom, no sigh of relief, no fear, no tears, no long lasting thoughtful approach to the newly ribboned world that has been laid at my feet and no awaking to find the world any brighter then yesterday.
I am scared, yes, at how I will function in this new life in the "real world", but those feeling are in no direct way associated with my new found freedom.
I spent fourteen years wailing my laments behind bars of steel and iron only to find myself feeling nothing once on the other side. I have been told that it will fill me in stages when I find that I can do things that were once forbidden but the more I think on this the more I begin to doubt it.
I have spent the last fifteen days traveling across the country, seeing things that I have never seen before but in company of those that view me however newly entered in the adult world as nothing more then a child. Maybe it is this environment that has been impairing and suppressing the anticipated feeling of relief and joy, but can I blame the present company entirely for this lack of reaction?
I think not.
Nena
1 comment:
i hope you don't feel i think of you as a child. But the best i can do is ask and try to change my exchanges with you if that is, in fact, the case.
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