Exhausting Night

Diving into the past writing about things I have not told anyone and I have kept to myself like some kind of manifesting cancer is utterly exhausting. I was already close to tears but after writing for about half an hour I could not stop the tears the wails that seemed to escape me like some banshee. Last night was very much a self loathing pity party. I don't think I have cried like that in about...I take that back that night when loneliness and the sheer emptiness of the place I reside enveloped me and slowly suffocating me until I knew that if I did not talk to someone I would cry forever.

M.D ended up calling in the middle of my tears. I tried so hard not to cry anymore but when the wails still persisted at the back of my throat I covered my mouth and let the tears mix with the force of my hand. She eventually figured out that I was crying and like aways she ended up making me feel better (Even though I hurt her in the process)

I am so sorry for that.


Nena