So yesterday’s emotional breakdown was scary as hell but now I know what I can handle when dealing with all that old crap. I came pretty damn close to crying to the point of not be able to stop you know those hysteric tears the ones that are desperate and that deep chasm opens up inside of you and you feel like the darkness will consume you. I had to stop and get angry so I would not fall into that chasm. Frightening that I could feel that way after so long, but it never heals and I know that its just a matter of acceptance and ignoring.
To make things better I talked to M.D and laughed, for about an hour prior to this conversation I could have sworn that laughing was a distant memory. I am good, well fine and excited for school to end so I can see my baby. At least I am no longr on the verge of hyperventilating.
Nena
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