Too much sleep with thoughts of M.D

I cant sleep any more. I came home from school and started reading but then I kind of blacked out on the couch not really recognizing that my eyes were shut and I was drifting off to unknown lands. I am upset as well because M.D called and no one woke me. I really wanted to talk to her. On the bright side though I finally got ahold of A. for some time I was really worried that something terrible happened and she was hurt. I could not reach her by phone nor did it seem by e-mail. She is extremely busy as always and something sad happened to her best friend so I am not upset that I was not able to reach her. I am just glad that my heart is no longer in my throat with worry.

I wonder what the extent of M.D's feelings are for me? Right now I am devoted to her but I am not ready to jump in and say I love her when my feelings are not that strong. I want this relationship to be mature and not with all that petty "love sick" clingyness. She is a strange person with adorably strange habits. I really want this to go well. We have a very open relationship she keeps no secrets as to what I do that annoys her and I am the same. I think that we got off to a good start. I am curious as to know where this will lead to. She being a senior and going on to collage at the end of the year puts us at a strange crossroad that we both see in the near future. We only ever discuss her fear of moving onto collage not where it puts us. I know that if it means the end of our relationship I will be happy to let her go and move on but I do hope that we hold on for a while. This is a thought that is in the back of my mind. Where are we going? This relationship sprang up so fast. Within a week of knowing her I was falling for her. She responded to my flirtatious behavior in a way that I did not expect. I thought that I would be brushed to the side, I even remember Phobia's warning to be careful. Phobia was really concerned when I told her that I was really beginning to like M.D. It makes me smile that she cared enough to be concerned.
"Just be careful, you don't want to get hurt. Please just be careful."
that is what she said to me and now that I think about it I told her that I was not going to do anything about it because I worked with her...then not even three days later we shared a kiss in the candle light. I am anxious to see where this will go. I know that where ever this road will take us we will both leave happy and changed.

Nena