Simply Bitching

I don't know why I go back on my word so many times. I am the only person I cant keep promises to. I promised myself that I would not give into the them and I did. I went on pass with L.M and D.M regardless of that fact that I promised myself I wouldn't. It is not like I had a terrible time or anything but I just cant stand her. Simply being around her makes me fret with frustration. She irritates me so much. Kat stop touching that, Kat don't lie on my bed. Oh but Becky it is OK that you mess with the same candle that I was told not to touch, and oh Becky it is OK if you lie on my bed. But it is I who is being the bitch and immature one when I get frustrated with her and walk outside instead of staying to watch her sleep. Why was she ever my mother? I love her yes but why? I don't know.


I am a stress mess. I don't have enough money for the plane ticket like I thought I was going to have and the people that said they were going to give me money bailed on me. Now I find myself two hundred dollars short and that is only a rough estimate. Even if I get enough money to buy the ticket I am not even sure if my S.W sent the request to the judge. If I don't get to go on the first of July will A. and S.P still be able to have me come over there at a different time?

Tomorrow is my birthday and I am only waiting for it to end because I end up getting my hopes up for something but no one ever remembers and Patch is mad at me for going on pass. Yay birthday!!!!.....NOT!!!! My ideal day would just escaping everyone and going for a really long hick up some random mountain and sitting at the top of it for hours simply enjoying the view. But I am a foster kid and they would never allow me to do that.

waiting for it all to end, waiting for it all to go somewhere

Nena