The time comes

I will be here a year!!! Its scaring me shitless, I have never...never!!!!! stayed anywhere a year. Everything is going bad,bad,bad. I am failing in school and I have been deemed suicidal!!!!!!! How does one fail in social life as well? I don't want to stay and deal with all this shit, but there is a reason of why I have to. God put me in this position so I can't run (anymore) and my feet are burning to run, I always run, but I have no where to go. No one wants me. Where am I going to go? I have worked my way into this pit and I have stayed on the edge for so long that now I have fallen into the middle and my legs don't know what to do. My little sister is going to be here soon. But can I put my self aside for her again this time? I am the reason of why she wants to live here and she is one reason of why I am stuck!! Tomorrow will be a year!! If I stay I will be in this pit for a while. I ask my friends to be there for me PLEASE DON'T LET ME PUSH YOU AWAY I always do that when I reach the one year mark. I don't know how I will be considering I have never stayed long enough to find out, so please just someone hold me for a while, while I cry.