I want so very much to be as happy as she is. I want to be all excited and overwhelmed with it but all I can think about is how crappy everything is right now. I can only see whats in front of me and she seems to be able to see nothing but whats coming. I am sitting here drowning and I keep trying to remind myself that I am not sitting at the bottom of the ocean and that if I look up I can see the rays of sun shining through the surface of the water but all I can seem to think is that I am still underwater regardless of how its put.
I dont know....
Nena
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