Waiting for the Bang

I am finally back in SD. Staying at M.D's house again doesn't feel as confining and intimidating as it normally does. I am trying desperately to be more comfortable around her family and generally more comfortable in my own skin.

I am a little depressed at the thought of how my summer is sure to go but there is no use dwelling on that thought since its not really in my control.

I have no thoughts towards my future for once in my life. Its odd how I have spent the last thirteen years of my life thinking nothing but of my future and now that I have reached and obtained most of what I was striving for I feel like an unwritten book. Is this how an author feels once they reach those blank pages that no longer seem to write themselves? Maybe not, maybe this is how those blank pages feel...

Empty, waiting for the story to unfold and yet they know nothing until they are filled. There is no gradual knowledge or slow understandings. It starts like the world is said to have stared, with a bang.

Nena