Why Now?

After searching all through my old messages to D.P I could never find that one message I sent her telling her how much I wanted to be with her. God I feel like that was millions of years ago.

She wrote me today. Of all days she wrote me today. She sent me this:

"just going thru some old messages. They reminded me of how much i miss you and how much i missed out on, because i was waiting for you to discover yourself. I still miss you so much. Thought you should know. Seems like eons ago... "

Below is the message I sent her, the one I could never find...----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: nena
Date: Jul 8, 2007 1:28 AM

I want to go back in time just a couple of days back in time but non-the-less back in time. I keep thinking of that sweet moment in your room, I should not have left. I can still taste your soft lips against mine. I can still feel the heat of your body against mine.

I want you. I know that that is blunt but I really do want you. If I was a selfish being I would ask you to leave your unworthy girlfriend and be mine ( Will you be mine?). I was thinking about the possibility of us being together but I was wondering if the age difference would bother you. You are a stage in your life when you are becoming an adult I am at a stag in my life that you have already passed. I really want to be with you. Not just because of the physical attraction but also because I want to be a greater part of your life. I love you as my friend but I want to grow to love as my lover as my companion.

If I could go back to that moment in your room I would not have let you go. Your kiss makes me drunk, I almost stumbled out of your room, I had trouble seeing straight, all I could think of was you, your lips, your kiss, your scent everything. I want to be yours. Why did it take me so long to figure it out? I could not accept myself I was fighting the fact that I loved women. Now that accept myself I find myself too late (am I too late for the one I wanted all along?)

Love always,

Nena

...................................................................................

I really cant believe all that has happened between now and then.

And of all days I wake to find this sitting in my inbox....

Nena