Her Smile

It was the weirdest thing seeing her for the first time in four months. I know that I was able to see her on Skype but it wasn't the same. I actually got to hold her, feel her body pressed against mine, and kiss her lips. But the oddest thing was, was that it felt...I don't know the right word...it was too weird. It scared me. I started thinking that maybe something was wrong, that some how in the distance from California to Vancouver, Canada we became lost. It took a bit for the feeling to go away but once it did it was like these last four months never happened. Its as though she never went away.

She keeps getting really sad when she takes me back and I start to feel like I did when I said goodbye to her. Like something in me is tearing and I want to fall to the floor and beg her, god, myself to somehow take me with her.

I can understand why people don't do long distance relationships. I can really understand now. All the loneliness, heart ache, sadness and the thousands of goodbyes that hurt just as bad as the first. But when she smiles I know that I would rather go through a life time of all that heart ache then live a single day knowing that she is not in my life.

Life would not be worth living knowing that the woman I love is lost out in the world.

Before you find love its as if you are floating in a vast sea and you never really know that you are alone until you find them. Your heart swells and life is never the same. All those days you spent lost seem so sadly wasted when compare to you life with them

Baby, thank you so much for loving me.

Nena