I am so scared for the end of my senior year. I mean I am looking forward to it but all my life I have know foster care. As much as I hate it it is all I know. I have to grow up in one year. For twelve years I have been complaining how I can't wait to leave and a really big part of me can't. But there is that part that is scared shitless at the mere thought of having to live on my own.
Advantages:
No shitty bureaucracy
I get to see my baby whenever I want
No signing papers of responsible parties
No curfew of having to be back
She can spend the night at my place (a really big stupid smile just plastered itself on my face at that thought)
I can light candles/incents
I can cook for myself
No study hour
The government is no longer my parent
Disadvantages:
I have to fend for myself
I have bills and rent
I have to have a job
survival vs living
The advantages outweigh the disadvantages by far, why then am I still scared?
Nena
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3 comments:
i just suddenly had this urge to tell you how beautiful you are and how much i love you, but i'm pretending to do homework so i can't call you.
it is scary as all hell, isn't it? but also, remember that if you do decide to live in a dorm you have a bit more time to "grow up" and get ready for what they so fondly call real life. xP
on another note, you forgot something else you've been looking forward to so eagerly: seeing your dad on your terms.
((ps - i got a huge stupid grin, too.))
Erase the shitty bureaucracy- you get to deal with that your whole life, except you won't know the people at the bottom of the chain of BS and they'll probably be less educated than the ones you're used to dealing with. Other than that, you can add to the advantage that you are a foster kid, and as many disadvantages as that may create for you now, if you play your cards right until you are 24, you will get things like school, housing, food, and supplies pretty much taken care of. This means all the comforts of being there without 95% of the regulation (you still have to play by some rules, but such is life!) You will do awesome on your own, I have no doubt in your maturity.
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