Do I have a fat lip?

Warning: Do not read if squeamish or you have an extreme dislike of needles



Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the dentist?

I had some dental work done today and let me tell you it was bad. I had four cavities and the dentist insisted on drilling them. I was like fine but I said I did not want novacane because I HATE needles. I HATE them not hate them. He said that it would probably hurt really bad without the numbing but he was willing to try it. I thought for a bit, was extreme dental pain worth not having to deal with any needles? The answer was sadly no. This idiot clearly sees that I am distressed with the mere thought of stabing a needle into my mouth and he starts bringing these really long scary ass looking needles out of his damnded drawer before I even consent to them. I begin to cry becuase I am shaking and I can not control the terror that is coarsing through my veins. He looks as me stupidly with the big ass needle in his hand and asks if I am alright. I have my hands smashed of my face so he can not come near me with the damnded thing and I sit there and shake. The tears just keep falling and he asks me if I want to do this and I really want to say no, I really, really want to say no but I know that if I do I will just have to come back and next time they might not be just cavitites and the remedy will be more then a needle and a drill but maybe a root canal. No thank you to that so I shake my head a bit and let my face go but keep my eyes covered. I feel like I am four but I really did not want to watch him stick that horrible thing into my mouth. He tells me I have to put my arms down by my sides so I clench my eyes shut as tight as I can possibly clench them and ball my hands into tight fists. He insterst the first needle and the tears are a consant stream not. I can feel my heart in my chest like a trapped caged thing that wants desperatly to get out. Three needles later I am shaking so much that he has to stop and wait for me to calm down. Then that is when the horrible noise of the drill fills the room. He tries to go onto another spot and as soon as he starts the drill I feel this horrible pain shoot from my tooth through my gums running donw my face, I scream and clench my hands so tightly that I feel that I broke the skin on my hand with my nails. I can feel that blood fill the half moons on my hands just as much as I can feel the warm copper taste of blood fill my mouth. The damn dentist jumps back and looks as scared as I feel. He cut me!!!! The novacain had not yet kicked in and he cut my gums, so I felt the drill as well as the cut in my gums. Guess what this calls for? You never will so I will just tell you, ANOTHER NEEDLE!!!!!!! Fuck I thought I was already terrified and now I find that he has to stab me with yet another needle. I was ready to get up and walk away, the only thing that kept me in the chair was the thought of coming back in four five months and having to have a root canal done. No way was I going to have that happen.

An hour or two later he finishes and I am still terrified with that fine tremble running through my limbs. He looks at me kind of disgusted but asks what I believe to be against his better judgment if I am going to be alright. I give one curt nod and he walks away. I don't even have the energy to think "asshole".

This was about four hours ago and I still do not have full feeling of my face.

Sheesh I really hate the dentist.



Baby, if you are cringing I am sorry.

Think about Alon and how much I love and miss you instead.

Nena